All right, cool. Wednesday, the 11th of February 2026. And, uh, you know, hmm, you know, there was something that skepta, popular UK rap artist, um, said once before, and uh, the thing is, I was trying to quote him, um, earlier this year, I think, when I was in the process of kind of like selling my, uh, or scrapping my uh, Mercedes C 200 sport, and uh, you know, effectively saying goodbye to that era, transportation for some reason. seems to be something that plays a massive

All right, cool. Tuesday, the 10th of February 2026. Now, for anybody who doesn't know, I like to model the brand that I'm trying to sculpt here, the artist that I'm trying to sculpt here, on the basis of Sigmund Freud's D.I.D. forward slash D.I.D. spelt with capital I.D. full stop or whatever it is. And the reason why I like to model myself on the basis of this model is because you know what? Um, there are multiple intentions. I guess I tend to find that there are multiple i

Okay, cool. So Sunday, the 8th of February 2026. Reality never really plays out the way that you wanted to, to be honest with you.  I'm sure I'm sure that I've spoken on this subject before. But, um, you know, when it comes to, like, you know, my history as a human being, um, you know, a significant chunk of my history as a human being has been dedicated towards immersing myself into video game scenarios, whether it be playing on the PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, so

Okay, sorry, Monday, the ninth of February 2026.  You know, when Jesus Christ in the Bible, although if I'm being, you know, 110% sincere with whomsoever finds themselves stumbling on this recording, this reflection, this excerpt of my own thoughts. As a new stick as I may feel at this present moment of time, there is something that is very relevant about, you know, very relevant to my present life, present to the lives that I see in others.  Um, when it comes to kind of like

Saturday the 7th of February 2026 and I'm always apprehensive forward slash scared forward slash fearful of not showing up as the person that I believe myself to be. And really and truthfully, I never really show up as the person that I believe myself to be. I only show up as the closest match to that. And, uh, you know, really and truthfully like whether I'm okay with it, really and truthfully depends on me. It just a decision, a single decision to be like, this is who I am

Friday, the 6th of February 2026 and um, like it's very crazy to think.  It's very crazy to think how much I can notice when I allow myself to slow down. Um, you know, I think I spoke to my daughter today and I think I mentioned something about like, you know, growing and growing isn't something that you do physically is also something that you do mentally.  And even me at my age, you know, am I kind of like adult age, you know? You know, I'm almost scared, like, you know, I'

Okay. Thursday, the 5th of February 2026. And for the 1st time, it's coming up to like, it's just gone past 5 o'clock in the evening.  And I've had a little bit of time, as opposed to reflect, after, you know, kind of like having completed my performance. And, uh, you know, if I'm being sincere with myself, like, you know, I've got a little bit of a mixed bag. There are several aspects of my performance that I'm very proud of.  I'm very happy with, and there are several aspec

Wednesday, the 4th of February 2026. Yeah, I'm now in a position where I'm preparing to leave to go to Elephant and Castle for my 1st, you know, for the 1st performance of the year. You know, this is something that I've been prepping for over the past couple of days.  And if I'm being honest, I am feeling like pretty unprepared. This is the most unprepared I've ever felt for anything really and truthfully, which is quite um, uh, I want to say the word unfortunate, but it's no

Tuesday, the 3rd of February 2000 and uh 26. So, um something has come up today. Um, whilst I'm preparing to, um, you know, for this performance that is effectively going to be taking place tomorrow, obviously this is something I've been speaking about.  So, uh, like, you know, yesterday I had a very tiny opportunity to effectively rehearse, uh, the song or kind of like the rap, whatever you want to call it, the song Darkness.  Um, again, very difficult, very intricate, very

Cool. Monday, the 2nd of February 2026. So on Wednesday, I've got this performance.  Um, by the time that this post comes out, I would have already performed it and, uh, you know, I would be reflecting over, you know, what went well, what didn't go well, you know, kind of like, did I do everything that I needed to do to make sure that I got the best out of this event? Now, this performance is taking place at Elephant and Castle.  It's effectively an event that aims to deal or

Sunday, the 1st of February, 2026. As much as I want to be able to live, I also want to be able to grow. Whilst those 2 things can almost be like 2 sides of the same coin, live in and growing.  When I talk about living, right, I'm talking about just merely being able to enjoy the fruits of my labour, not necessarily kind of like putting in effort or kind of like working towards a specific goal, just merely like living and enjoying the present moment.  Growing in essence is al

Okay, Saturday, the 31st of January 2026. So, As I was working downstairs just trying to work my way through the kitchen and just basically  like scrubbing my way through every plate, fork, knife, bottle, baby bottle, um, you know, whatever it is. I was listening to a video that was put together by a neighbourhood arts supply, I believe it is, and it was, I think the title of the video was, if I'm not mistaken, it would have been, I guess the biggest change that is happening

Friday the 30th of January 2026. And uh, given the way that I'm feeling right now, um, I reckon the bare minimum I can do to um, part with this reflection is to kind of like uh, be honest and give away my honesty. Um, you see, often at times, I go quiet, although to be honest, I'm quite as equally often at times, I never shut up. During the periods where I'll go quiet, it seems a bit offensive that I don't talk or explain or try to confront the thing that is bothering me. And

Thursday, the 29th of January 2026. I've been looking at Pomodoro timers. I've been looking at those quite a lot and really looking at boosting my productivity.  So, um, for anybody who doesn't know, like a pomodoro time up, it's essentially like a a timer that you set to basically kind of like complete a given task. Now it's not quite as simple as you have 25 minutes to effectively complete this task, but the whole psychology of it. is that it basically kind of like keeps yo

Okay, cool. Um, a little bit of a personal reflection today. Wednesday, the 28th of January 2026.  And you know what? I genuinely fall out my brain, uh, and my mind specifically, not necessarily in my brain, which is which would be the hardware in this case. Um, you know, I'm talking more about the software, the mind, and what makes up my mind.  I have to admit that my mind often gaslights me into kind of like thinking things that aren't necessarily true, again, fear. Um, has

Tuesday, the, um, 27th of January 2026. You know, I went on a drive earlier today, if I'm being honest, and um, you know, upon my drive, you  know, I was just basically vlogging, and I was just basically saying whatever it was that came to my mind, then honestly speaking, I was ranting quite a lot, and I was ranting about how, um, you know, artists, musicians are always at the bottom of the food chain, the food chain, especially the musicians that want to make it big in the k

Okay, Monday, the 26th of January, 2026. Just completing my run. Yeah, that's right. I started running. To be honest, it's something like, you know, that I have been doing for a while. I was doing it a lot when I was in prison. Um, tried to kind of like carry on after leaving prison in 2020. Um, kind of like tried to continue that during COVID times, but that never really bared through, to be honest. And since then I haven't gone back to it. So I've been gearing myself up to

Sunday the 25th of January 2026. And uh, 1st time recording an reflection in a very, very long time, didn't think I was actually going to get back to it at one point if I'm being honest, because the overwhelming amount of catching up that I've got to do is MMS.  But, you know, like, uh, I've been doing it for so long and uh, you know, for me to actually kind of like, you know, just quit and give up and nah, it's just, I don't want to say that it's not my style. It's just like

All right, cool. So, Monday the 1st of September 2025. And I have to be honest, I feel like for the sake of my internal well -being, I'm...

Sunday, the 31st of August, 2025. And, you know, I'm still trying to, you know, as habitually as I can, try to hold on. This mindset...