Working On Structure

Cool. Thursday, the 19th of February 2026. And um, maybe I know I've spoken about this before, but maybe happiness is the feeling that we're really searching for. Success maybe might not be defined by a certain moment or the acquisition of a material

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thing, but rather the feeling that is associated or connected with the acquisition of that material thing, or the moment that is reached a certain point in time and space. 

And I say this because I always pay attention to what happens when I do reach a specific moment and begin to experience a certain feeling. For example, over the past couple of days, I've been trying to work on this, this structure, so to speak, that effectively builds a, allows me to operate using a specific framework, right? 

A, you know, allows me to effectively create, you know, works and create pieces and create content pieces that effectively allows me to follow a specific flow and, well, I could go as far to argue, will put me in the flow state, but essentially, it removes the frustration and removes the uncertainty and removes the insecurity of, you know, this entire thing that I've been doing. 

This journey that I've been on trying to essentially become a successful rap artist. And, you know, not just necessarily, it's not necessarily just about become becoming a rapper artist, but it's successfully putting out music that I express from the heart and connecting with people. 

So it's not necessarily becoming a rapper artist either. You know, is it, you know, my question is, and I'm always asking myself, even I'm at the point where I'm asking myself now, do I want to become a rap artist, right? Or do I want to put out music, right? 

Do I want to pupil out music? Do I want to express a message and express myself in such a way? Express myself in such a way that allows me to connect with people, right? 

On a shared feeling and a shared experience. So with all of that being said, right? Um, because I've kind of like gone on a bit of a tangent, but in essence, am I in the position where I, uh, you know, is it happiness really that I'm looking for? 

Because I have spoken about this before. I have mentioned this before. I have said that. 

There are instances where I often wonder. It's not necessarily the thing that I'm looking for. It's not necessarily the moment, but it is the feeling that is associated with that moment. 

And as soon as I begin to recognise that, I begin to concentrate on all the things that give me that feeling, and all the actions that give me the feeling, and all the things that naturally made me happy, as opposed to trying ever so hard to, you know, and sometimes to the point in which I fail consistently, to, uh, you know, kind of like get a feeling because of a certain acquisition or because of a certain moment of time, that really and truthfully is only, uh, you know, I think the word that I'm looking for is, is only fleeting. It doesn't last forever.