When One Has No Responsibilities

Tuesday the 5th of August 2025 and I know I've moaned about this before, moaned about effectively kind of like the benefits of like being able to pursue a music career when one is single, when one doesn't have any other responsibilities, no relationships, no children to look

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after but I'm gonna kind of like gonna go I'm gonna go into a little bit more detail about that now especially with the things that I've been going through as of late. If I'm gonna go into a little bit more detail about that now, especially with the things that I've been going through as of late.

If I'm being honest, I still look at myself in the mirror and sometimes think that I'm irrational, crazy, ludicrous, delusional for effectively still not necessarily choosing a career in music or trying to become a rap artist, a successful rap artist, both creatively and financially, both musically and entrepreneurially, if that's even a word. You know, I don't think I'm crazy for starting or trying to pursue that career,

but I think that I am crazy for still trying to pursue that career. And why is that? Because you know, of the conflict of interest, one lifestyle requires that I'm close to home and then the other lifestyle requires that I'm all over the world. Well, not necessarily, but it's kind of like, effectively the two interests

sort of like contradict each other and the magnitude of work that I need to focus on within my family life in comparison to the magnitude of work that I need to focus on in my music life. If it was as though I'm a little bit kind of like, what's the expression of, I've worn myself thin,

I've spread myself too thin. And, you know, I'm not necessarily sitting here doubting myself a little bit. I'm not, maybe I'm, I'm not necessarily trying to be realistic either. I'm just at this point where, you know,

it's, I'm not surprised that often at times I experience moments of self doubt, moments where I'm not feeling too great about it. Because again, it's not gonna be, you know, it's probably more likely that I'm not gonna succeed in music than it is likely that I am gonna succeed in music.

But those odds can be changed over time, depending on how I systematically work my way through my problems. And you know, yeah I guess I guess I was just basically just talking, I was just moaning about like you know how much better things would be if I just didn't have all of these responsibilities on top of my play.