The Conditioning

Tuesday the 29th of October 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be the conditioning. I'm wondering about the very little time that I've spent celebrating and acknowledging those achievements. I'm not entirely certain how to articulate this but I like it

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the way I am to the analogy or maybe perhaps the following analogy of a horse who is effectively, you know, from birth, I suppose conditioned to, you know, run and

instinctively that's effectively like what horses do, which is why, like you know, they have to be put to sleep when they break a leg because effectively, like, a horse will simply, unless it is sleeping, a horse's instinct is always to get up and also liken this you know the way that I am to the way that you know to this scene from Forrest Gump when Forrest effectively was given a task he was told to run from one end of a football pitch to the other and effectively score a point only he carried on running to

the point to which he ran out of the football pitch and ran all the way back home. I liken these scenarios to the way that I am because I guess I'm reflecting over the way that I've been conditioned to just keep on going, never to really look back at all the things that I've accomplished, which saddens me and also puts me in a pensive state of mind because after all, these are supposed to be the tiny little achievements and the tiny

little accomplishments that keep me going. It's unfortunate that I've come to this point in my life where I guess such an effort and such an exercise which is supposed to be effortless, celebrate and acknowledge the fact that you did it, that you done it. It's something that I have to try very hard to do unless I aim to run the risk of just effectively running and coursing throughout my entire life never really acknowledging how proud I really should be of myself.