The Cause of My Apathy

Thursday, the 26th of February 2000 and uh 26 and I have to. I'm slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that I have to resign myself to the reality that my mobile phone use is what is contributing to my apathy. 

1:58

And uh, you know, uh, is also contributing to, is also a contributing factor to the, to the dissatisfaction in my life. 

Not because of the things that I am able to see, which also contribute to the feeling of my inadequacy. Uh, not only because it also feeds and it exacerbates the extremities of my ego, but also because what it does, in essence, is it, um, It also, again, hijacks my brain. 

Uh, it's a, it's a multi-tool, it's a multi-device that effectively on days where I'm not being focussed or I'm not being disciplined, I can end up losing a countless amount of time, just effectively not doing anything in particular. 

So just sitting on idle. When in reality, I could be doing things and I could be taking actions every day that are getting me closer to the objectives that I actually want. There is always more that I can get from life. 

When I say that there is more that I can get from life, there is more from life that I want, which I can get. It is accessible and it is there for the taking, without necessarily me having to take much from anybody else. 

But I am taking away from myself the more time, you know, the more idle time I am dedicating to my phone. 

Sure, this isn't to say that, you know, the phone isn't pleasurable, that it isn't pleasurable to view things on social media apps, but I have to continue to remember the reason why I enjoy having a phone in the 1st place.

I enjoy having a phone to connect and when I'm not connecting, it means I'm just giving time away. I had all time away for things that, you know, I'm not going to get back in the future.