Scarier Than Success

Monday, the 28th of September 2026. Really and truthfully at the point in time in which I'm recording this reflection, I'm thinking about, um, you know, how uncomfortable, like, uh, my music 

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career is, and uh, I have spoken about um, discomfort being your friend like earlier this week. Um, or a couple of days ago, however you want to, however you want to interpret it. 

Um, but the key thing that I want to focus on today is the simple fact that as uncomfortable as this is, as literally tiresome as this is, as difficult as it is, as frustrating as it is. 

Uh, you know, as, you know, soul draining as this is. I am running away from a situation that I deem a far worse than um, the situation that I'm in now where I'm effectively like, you know, uh, constantly uh, bump in my head against failures, if that makes any particular sense. 

Um, You know, late evenings, feeling completely tired, completely drained, sometimes, often at times feeling unaccomplished, feeling like I haven't done good enough. 

For some reason, this is a far more comfortable feeling than the feeling of essentially remaining trapped in a cycle where essentially I don't live my life to the fullest potential or at least to the potential that makes me feel comfortable with the things that I am doing with my time. 

If truth be told, um, I am no longer in a position where I can afford to just, you know, uh, live uh, pretending as though, like, you know, time isn't finite. 

I need to make the best use with the time that I have available. Uh, pursue, you know, pursuing meaning, purpose, and just being dedicated to the responsibilities that rest heavy on my shoulders.