Obsessed With Control

Sunday the 17th of August 2025 and I'm forever meditating on the whole notion of control because I quite frankly am very obsessed with control. It's very different to power and I wouldn't say I would go as far as you know saying that I'm obsessed with controlling people.

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However, there are certain outcomes and certain situations that I don't desire and quite frankly the opposite. There are certain situations and certain outcomes that I aim to avoid through the things that I can control right and you know sometimes because of how hard it is for me to avoid certain situations through the

parameters that I can control they make me obsessed with the things that I can't control because it's within the things that I can't control you know that if I could control them I suppose I would be able to have a greater say and I'll be able to negotiate a lot better for situations that are in my favor, situations that I would desire, situations that I suppose align themselves with the things that I want to experience in life.

The truth of the matter is, on the other hand, is not everything I can control. I can't control everything. And so I need to effectively continue to negotiate with and I need to continue to wrestle with you know the things you know within the parameters or the things that I can control and remind myself to effectively accept whatever it is that I can't and just leave it alone. This becomes increasingly challenging of course the more I question the things that I can't control

and whether it is that I actually can't control them or whether I'm just fooling myself into believing that certain things are beyond my reach. Either way, at the end of the day, there is a balance that needs to be struck because I can't lie. Sometimes when I accept that there are things that I can't control, I fully let go. And usually there's consequences that I pay for in the future. Other times I get a little bit too tight, I control too much and effectively drain my own personal battery, which I don't want.

But ultimately, it's definitely important to strike a balance and find out what I kind of like need to do to make sure I get the best out of life without trying too hard, of course.