Mind Underestimated

Monday, the 2nd of March, 2026. And I really want to talk about mind. I want to talk about my mind, but mind in general, like our minds and stuff like that, right? 

3:01

I think I am slowly but sure they're coming to the conclusion that I have very heavily underestimated the power of my own mind and how it can really, you know, it can severely work against my own favour. 

A lot of the things that I thought were, uh, that were affecting me externally, a lot of the blame that I, uh, I suppose associated to a lot of things that were external, external, um, of me, like they weren't of me, like it was like, either something else or somebody else was, you know, really entirely of my own doing. 

The way that I think, the way that I feel, and how I react in response to those feelings is incredibly scary. 

My fears, my anxieties, my worries are all things that I conjure purely with the power of my own mind. And it's very alarming. I want to use the word concerning, but it's not really the word that I'm looking for. 

It's not the way that I want to frame it. I want to frame it in a way where it's, you know, it calls me, it calls me to recognise the very tiny, sometimes insidious ways in which I begin to believe certain outcomes that my mind has already, you know, you know, certain outcomes that my mind has already, I suppose the word that I'm looking for is manifested. 

But at the same time, I also need to take it into consideration, the fact that, you know, my mind is trying to, It's trying to effectively decide an outcome that hasn't even happened yet. 

And sometimes that can be quite scary how it happens. 

Like, I'll be sitting there and going through the physical sensation of being worried or anxious about an event, as though it is actually happening, or it has already happened, um, or unpredicting, and I'm trying to think that a certain situation is going to go a certain way, and then the certain situation comes up, and then as it turns out, you know, there was nothing to be worried about, and that's very, very scary. 

It's quite scary because, you know, being on the journey to becoming the greatest rap artist that I could possibly be, right? 

It is alarming because a lot of, you know, you know, self-sabotage is not just physical. It's also psychological. 

And, you know, by being worried about certain outcomes, but it really does change the way, you know, it does, it does change the way that I perceive the playing field and where my opportunities are, where they're not, what I can or what I can't do. 

It's absolutely, I want to say, uh, I want to say, uh, terrifying is terrific. but it's also amazing because it means that understanding this information puts me in a position where I can improve and I can proceed closer, you know, to get closer to the direction or closer to the destination of where I want to be.