Keep The Demons In

Friday the 30th of January 2026. And uh, given the way that I'm feeling right now, um, I reckon the bare minimum I can do to um, part with this reflection is to kind of like uh, be honest and give away my honesty. Um, you see, often at times, I go quiet, although to be

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honest, I'm quite as equally often at times, I never shut up. During the periods where I'll go quiet, it seems a bit offensive that I don't talk or explain or try to confront the thing that is bothering me. And uh, I've explained time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again. that this isn't an effort to kind of like offend anybody. This is an effort to be stubborn about anything. 

This is an effort to, in essence, just contain the, um, the raw and the very visceral emotion that I'm currently, you know, that I'm experiencing, you know, at that given moment of time. And, uh, you know, the expression that I've always, like, you know, parted with and the expression one of my most favourite expressions that I've ever partied with is, you know, just because I'm not talking, you know, doesn't mean to say that I'm, I don't want to let you in. I just don't want to let the demons out. 

And then, you know, it's always underappreciated. It always goes under appreciated. I do carry with me. 

A lot of raw, unaddressed and, you know, kind of like, you know, um, kind of like, uh, unresolved, kind of like, I'm not going to use the word trauma, but definitely experiences like, you know, um, I definitely have, I definitely have that within me. And these are things that, you know, music and all the things that I'm trying to build are all the things that I try to do to consolidate that. And um, yeah, like, eventually, you know, this is it, again, I've spoken about it. 

My life does depend on this. Because if I don't find that balance, if I don't find that equilibrium within my own spiritual journey as an artist, eventually it's just going to explode in everybody's face. And quite frankly, I don't want that.