If I Was Happy

So at the moment I'm working my way backwards to the last day that I didn't write my reflections, which is why when I'm thinking about what I'm trying to say it all feels very confusing because I'm trying to talk about Friday but I'm talking about Friday from the perspective of today which is Saturday. So I'm talking, I'm thinking about talking about Friday despite the fact, I'm trying to talk about Friday as though Friday is the day although right now it's not Friday, it's Saturday. Does that make any sense? Anyway, so like I don't even know how to describe Friday if I'm being honest because Friday was just very suspicious. It was suspicious because I was just that happy and it had been a long while since I'd been that happy. Like in fact, as a matter

of fact, like you know I had been so happy like Friday that the last time that literally reminded me of the last time I was that happy and the last time that I was that happy was when I had my psychosis, which is why Friday was really suspicious. But considering the fact that my thoughts are still cohesive and that I'm still kind of like feeling fine within myself, I feel like, you know, I take that as a good sign and I take it as a good omen that, you know, things are beginning to shift and I'm now beginning to see things in a much more positive light, which is kind of like why the week has been confusing because at the end of the day it's like you know I've been feeling miserable for

such a long time that I've completely forgotten what it's like to be happy so much so that when I do feel happy it feels very suspicious and very new to me but I had so many things kind of like it's not I wouldn't even say that it has anything to do with what had actually happened but it's more so rather something that's very internal and something that's very within me at the moment and that's just kind of like this, you know, this almost this like acceptance and this peace within me that just allows me to be happy irrespective of kind of like how my day goes and for some reason like you know the dude like you know when I went to

go and pick up petrol from the station the dude was smiling at me more often than usual in a very positive kind of that manner. People were just extra nice and people were extra bubbly and it just had me feeling huh. I wonder if any of this has to do with the way that I've just decided to feel and I wonder if they're recognizing and seeing the happiness that's beaming from within me. So that's they're recognizing and seeing the happiness that's beaming from within me. So that's basically to describe Friday in a nutshell.