I’ve Been Needing Therapy

Okay, on Tuesday the 19th of August 2025 and I've been needing therapy for a while, like for a long while. I've known about this since about 2017 and it's now 2025 and like you know I kind of like started getting hunched I needed therapy from even before then so it's been a

0:00

pretty long while. I'd say about a decade. I'm still in the process of getting it. And, you know, thankfully, it's not for anything crazy. Like, I don't feel like, you know, I'm about to go out there and do some seriously wrong crime. I

don't think my, I don't think my issues are mental in that sense. But they are like, you know, I do, there are several things about myself that I wanna be able to address and there's things about me that I wanna discover and I wanna understand about myself. Like for example, yeah, the amount of suffering that I go through excessively purely because

of like some of the, you know, kind of like disjointed, you know, the way that I'm set up mentally, like right now, yeah, I'm not gonna go as far as saying that my anxiety is through the roof, whatever that's supposed to mean. But it's like, I definitely feel anxious about the future,

worried about the future for reasons that, you know, when I really, really think about it, I'm sitting there like, you know, why am I being this ridiculous? Why am I constantly operating from this state of lack? I don't have the most amount of time to really talk about this,

so I'll just wrap it up here and just say, this is what I find weird. I find it weird that the thing that I think is gonna give me safety and security is actually not really giving me me safety and security is actually not really giving me much safety and security at all. Whereas the thing that I should focus

on which gives me safety and security right now, this instant, that is roof over my head and kind of like peace and safety and all of that stuff, is something that I'm supposed to be enjoying now. And yet I've spent the entirety of the day if not most of the day being worried about the next moment and I've sucked away the opportunity to just enjoy being alive now.