Hurdles & Excuses

Monday the 6th of April 2026. There comes as a point where I have to be very honest with the excuses and the hurdles that I am deliberately putting in front of my own way. So in other words, I'm self-sabotaging.

2:08

The reason why I say this is because, you know, when I look around, and when I really reflect over the things that I have at my disposal. I don't really think that there are many reasons as to why I cannot forge ahead towards the life that I want for myself. Um, as bleak as things may seem with the way that things are shaping up in the world. 

There are also opportunities for me to pave my way and to really get the things that I want. And maybe there's like a deeper dive in that subject, like maybe there's a part of me that suffers from survivor's guilt to maybe I'm a little bit too polite and maybe I don't truly embrace the nature of my selfishness, the degree of my selfishness, but when it comes to like, you know, 

development, when it comes to forging ahead, I have time, you know, I have my mind and I have the capability to take action. So really and truthfully, I am now having to go through the process where I have to ask myself. 

What is it, you know, what is it that, um, you know, what is it that I'm, Why am I holding myself back really at this point? Like, why am I still sitting here, you know, either procrastinating or self sabotaging, you know, what is it that I'm really doing? 

And why is it, you know, you know, why what is it that I'm doing to start myself and why am I not doing the things that I need to do in order to, you know, forge ahead and move forward with my life? 

Like, what is it that's holding me back? Is there a part of me that's attached to this current reality? Um, is there a part of me? 

That's just, you know, unwilling to like do the things that it takes to move forward or am I just being stubborn?