How Vulnerable I Am

Okay, Wednesday the 2nd of April 2025 and I like to believe that generally speaking I have an accurate perception of how vulnerable I truly am emotionally, physically, in the physical realm and in the mental realm, spiritual realm etc etc. But as time goes on, I think I like to

0:00

remind myself that I'm kind of beginning to come to the realization that I need to instill the

habit of reminding myself on a regular basis that I'm not robust I'm not tough all around you know like I have soft spots soft spots that you know kind of like if compromised you know could effectively just log me off completely like I can be a force you know for a lack of a better way of putting it I can be a force of great productivity this is true I can sit down for hours you know you know I can go for days sometimes without sleep you know creating great things and putting great things to work you know you know creating great things but the slightest

hint or the slightest doubts of doubt could just completely shatter that and turn me into a shell of myself, turn me into my shadow self, you know? And as time goes on, like, you know, I think, you know, I need to remind myself

on a regular basis that such things can happen and I need to find ways to kind of like return, you know to myself and to effectively comfort myself and remind myself that this is the reason why For a lack of a better way of putting it. I need to be mindful of my energy I need to be able to protect my own energy, you know, not necessarily from people, often at times from myself, you know, whenever I, you know, I need to be kinder to myself, I need to learn how to love myself first and foremost because I feel like a lot of my, you know,

hatred, a lot of my, you know, a lot of the things that I feel come from this kind of like, I wouldn't say self-loat I feel come from this kind of like,

I wouldn't say self-loathing, but it's kind of like this insecurity towards oneself. You know, it's like I find it crazy how I can go a day,

you know, you know, really, really kind of like cherishing the things that I'm able to create and praising myself for the things that I'm able to create, you know, and, you know'm able to create, you know, and you know, reminding myself that, you know, I am capable of creating great things and then go through a day where I feel like a shell of myself, even though nothing about my reality has changed, I am still this person that can create these great things. Like, I need to come back to that. I need to be able to come back to

that version of me by just reminding myself that I can be horrible to myself sometimes I can say some horrible things about myself sometimes things that can effectively make me go days without doing anything great because I doubt myself and I need to become my own rock, I need to become my own source of stability even though I have some great people that will always be there for me when the world turns dark. Like I just need to be able to

make sure that I'm there for myself because often at times it's when I'm there for make sure that I'm there for myself because often at times it's when I'm there for myself that I often turn into my greatest enemy.