Experience Is Necessary

Wednesday, the 4th of February 2026. Yeah, I'm now in a position where I'm preparing to leave to go to Elephant and Castle for my 1st, you know, for the 1st performance of the year. You know, this is something that I've been prepping for over the past couple of days. 

2:26

And if I'm being honest, I am feeling like pretty unprepared. This is the most unprepared I've ever felt for anything really and truthfully, which is quite um, uh, I want to say the word unfortunate, but it's not really unfortunate. It's really just experience that experience that is necessary in order for me to grow and evolve, not just as an artist, but I guess, as the creator of, like, you know, everything that I put together, if that makes sense. 

I, you know, I don't know how to feel because, you know, the truth is, like I try it very hard not to feel indifferent about it. 

The more it hurts, the more it does annoy me, the more it does frustrate me, the better because it means that I'm less likely to go back into one of those performances feeling unprepared because I would have actually have done the necessary work. for that performance, but there's only so much that I could have done, like, you know, given my current circumstances. I am currently juggling a lot of situations in a lot of different areas of my life to the point where I can only do my best. 

What was very, you know, was very interesting is the fact that inasmuch as I know the music that I will be performing, I also don't know it, or I don't know how I'm going to feel in the moment. 

You see, when it comes to performances, perfection, right, is a, uh, is a good thing, I suppose, getting it perfect is good, but it isn't great. What makes a performance great is being able to let go of all the, all the, you know, all the things that we think we need to make the performance great. 

Focussing less on getting it right and just focussing on expressing and really opening up all the valves. rather than just suppressing them or focussing on the focussing on the quality of the performance itself. And I've noticed that a lot over the years, but yeah, I'm preparing for that. Like, um, and I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna see how it goes.