Difficult To Stomach

Tuesday the 18th of February 2025 and you know what, like sometimes like I have a bunch of emotions that I find really difficult to stomach, especially the more time that I spend in my own head reflecting over things that will only perpetuate kind of like those strong negative

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emotions. But as of late I've just been finding it hard to effectively just be in my own bubble, a bubble where I'm not effectively looking for peace as a matter of fact. Again, I kind of like using the word

peace but what I really am talking about is comfort. I'm not trying to remain within my own bubble for comfort. I'm actually trying to do the very opposite. I'm trying to be as uncomfortable as I possibly can because I know that being uncomfortable and being in that state of discomfort is the thing that actually drives the results of the achievements that I'm looking for. And it's very difficult to stomach these emotions, especially when everything and everyone else around me seems to be going in the opposite direction, constantly

looking for comfort. It's very, very hard for me to kind of like deal with this notion because it's like everybody wants kind of like, you know, the best things out of life. Everybody wants this, they want peace, they want stability, they want comfort, they want all of these things. But it's like they all go in the opposite direction for it. They all just basically just sit and do absolutely nothing and then complain about their lives as though like you know nothing can be done about it. When really and truthfully they are effectively perpetuating the cycle of their own suffering.

But it's very hard for me to sit where I am right now because even the reason why I'm doing this, I'm not effectively kind of like making this investment or investing my own time, you know, for my own sake. I'm actually doing it for the sake of like people that I care about. And sometimes I wonder why I'm the person doing it in my place. You know, am I am I enabling just their ability to just forego their responsibilities and forego their accountability and forego they need to change it and need to grow is what I'm asking myself. Or am I just in a position where maybe I don't know maybe I'm just going crazy or maybe I should actually just carry on because that is effectively what it is what is expected of me