8 Years Ago

Okay, Monday the 3rd of February 2025. This time, 8 years ago I had a car accident. And I'm kind of tired of calling it a car accident because it was my very own attempt at taking my own life. And I talk about it so casually now because for many different reasons, death was always

a casual conversation for me. Well, actually let me correct myself, death is always a perceived, you know, when people hear me talk about death, they think or they, you know, they get the impression that I have a very casual and a very nonchalant kind of like, I guess, perspective, approach or attitude

towards death. When really and truthfully, I guess, I wouldn't say that I've been accustomed to it because it's not like I lived a life surrounded by death actually quite the opposite. Many of the people that I love and care for seem to have this very uncanny way of being able to escape death. They are survivalists, mental survivalists, survivalists of domestic abuse, survivalists of suicidal thoughts, it's ridiculous. But I'm saying all of this to say that I've been very, like, you know, since the age of four, I came to know that one day

I was going to die. And death is the thing that effectively just defines, it colours and it characterises and crystallises, actually. It crystallises everything, it shapes the reason why I'm here. It shapes everything that I do and I don't hide away from it, I don't live my life pretending like it isn't going to happen one day, you know, like it's like many other people seem to do and you know just reflecting back on that is just a bit, it's a bit like um I don't know like you know that you know each each year goes by and I guess I come back to this day and I don't know, I

guess I'm slowly starting to lose the feeling or I'm almost disassociated with that event because I guess so much has happened since then.