What This Feels Like
The Sunday 18th of October 2026. I want to talk a little bit about what imposter syndrome feels like. And to be honest, it's not a particularly great feeling.
Um, but I suppose it's a necessary process that we all have to go through in order to become the versions of ourselves that um, we will be proud of becoming when we wake up tomorrow. Obviously, I'm speaking figuratively when I'm talking about tomorrow, but anyway. So, um, I liken the idea of imposter syndrome to a flickering light bulb, you know?
It's a lot more comfortable when the light bulb is off because when the light bulb is off, it's the representation of who we currently are. You know? Um, you know, switched off, no energy is required for that light bulb to be on.
We don't necessarily have to put any more energy than the energy that we put in now to be who we are now. Except the problem is when it's when the light is off, it's dark, it's gloomy. In some sense, you can also argue it's a little bit colder after all, light does emit some form of heat.
Um, but we don't want to be this way. We wouldn't be switched on. And the energy and the energy that is required to be switched on.
Again, requires electricity, constant, energy flowing through. And uh, at times it can be a little bit uncomfortable, I suppose. It can be a bit confusing.
Um, and again, when the light does get switched on, it exposes many areas and many avenues that um, of ourselves that we wouldn't essentially be aware of if the light was switched off again. You know, when the light becomes switched on, we become aware of like, you know, all of the different areas and avenues that we may not necessarily be happy with. So, you know, truth exposes, light, exposes.
Uh, and, you know, the idea of imposter syndrome is that, you know, that, you know, you know, a light bulb, you know, if you flip to the switch on a light bulb, it just basically comes on straight away. But in this instance, the light is always flickering, you know? For example, in my case, as I'm sat here recording this reflection, um, honestly, like, um, I have to, you know, get my tasks done regardless.
I have to do whatever it is that I need to do regardless of how I feel. But, um, you know, I do what I do wrestling the thought of, you know, me effectively, like, you know, feeling like an imposter feeling like I'm not the person that's supposed to be doing this because I'm supposed to be comfortable in my failures and comfortable with the person that I am now,
but the truth of the matter is that I am neither comfortable with the person that I am, nor am I comfortable with the person that I need to become or want to become for the sake of my own. Um, you know, uh, for the sake of my own peace.
But the sole conclusion to all of this is, is that I would rather be uncomfortable in the process of becoming the person that I'm scared of and sometimes in denial of becoming, then remain the person. Um, that I've always been.
Comments